From a blind man ~ Tales from the dark side

Saturday, June 6, 2009

From a blind man

Noone talks to a blind man. I mean not the way you would like them to talk to you, like light gossip or friendly banter. No sir, noone thinks I am capable of that. Maybe you are not allowed to talk about the world if you can't see it. Everytime someone talks to me, I can sense the pity in his/her voice, or the urgency to end the conversation. I can't sense the expressions on their faces, I'm not psychic, but I'm sure I get patronising looks all the time. I mean seriously, I have come to accept the fact that I can't see, and it's okay not like I have a terminal disease or something, the way everyone treats me. I am a normal human being people!

I have only one good friend, P. She says she understands me. I don't know, but I prefer to believe her. Sometimes she describes the sunset to me, and clouds and rains. I can feel the rains though, cold icy drops which hit you first and then spread sending shivers down your spine. I am not allowed to get wet in the rains, not because I can't but because I'm blind and that doesn't allow me to catch a virus, obviously!

Well, P says the world's an evil place, and I'm lucky that I can't see and what i would have seen would have changed me, into something evil too. But I told her, in a void there is no light and dark, no good and evil, in a mouldable space all that exists is matter, not good and evil. I don't really believe there is good or evil. There's anger, there's lust, there's jealousy. But what's evil?

P says I'm talking like the devil. I told her I am the devil, and my horns were invisible, only my blind eyes can see them. P says I am funny, but that's the sad part the stuff I tell her are real incidents, jokes cracked at other people's expense. I guess the funniest jokes are about someone else's misery.

Sometimes I close my eyes, and I can see light, not something that can be explained. It happens when i press my eyes too tight. Its like a lit corridor. Not real light though, an illusion. But I like to see the light, even though it fades after sometime. A couple of seconds of the lie of vision.


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