It was never meant to be

I sit by my window
The soft caress of the darkness surrounds me
Like the aanchal of her sari
A memoir of yesterday.
And midnight’s voices urge me to remember
All the laughter and all the mirth
All the beauty that unfolds in her laughter.
I sit alone in my dreary solitude
As death whispers its sullen lullaby.

With the first drop of the poison in my throat
I remember the first time our eyes met
How I rushed to take my eyes off of hers
The waves it sent through my heart,
With the second
How I sealed my love with a proclamation
That undying my love shall be
Today, tomorrow and thereafter.
And with the third
Golden slumber tried to pull me
But heaven’s doors were still far to reach
I remembered the first time I touched her lovingly
Of how she reminded me rather childishly
That I should not touch her in passion
Lest it should destroy natural balance.

I pour the contents of a now empty bottle
Down my throat
And like whirlwind time flew, from our first day
Till now
Our ups and downs, highs and lows
Love and hatred, fire and ice
Like seething iron in my heart a hole formed
Of love that escaped from my grasp
For a stupid mistake.

I close my eyes
“You shall never know how much I loved you”
And there I lay
When morning came like hay
My body in golden slumber
My face in sun’s ray.
I died, and took my heart with me.
Love eternal, it was never meant to be.